Sweet but sour in my heart…

Although flower might not always be an act of love, but I always treasure the moment when I first send u the purple roses that start off one of the happiest moment in my life. Deep down, I knew, I will not send any flower to any other girls beside her, because I am just too weak to handle the emotions when I try to recall those memories…  its sweet, but it also sour to the heart…

Stand beside me, will you?

Image via Wikipedia

My dear Baby Panda,

It’s been quite awhile since we last talked to each other. I’m quite amazed how fast the time flies, dipping my head in work is probably the best I can do throughout this period to heal myself. I’m hurt, alright, 6 months later, am I healed?

Quite the opposite, the pain get escalated throughout my body and I felt pain in my heart, my chest, and I seriously believe, no pain killer in this planet will be able to stop them.

Alright, I am exaggerating; my life is empty all this while, hoping that you may one day decide to come back. But you seem happy nowadays, at least on the surface, I have totally no idea of how your life is shaping nowadays. It’s just awkward to think of you so often when you’re no longer showing me your love.

I just felt like we, or at least I have to do something now, or I will regret forever, let’s start talking to each other will you? May be trying replying to my emails; take your time to reply me then. Neglecting me, scaring that you will once again fall in love with me, shouldn’t be the main reason why we stop being friends. If you have faith and confident about your current relationship, don’t avoid me please. I really beg you. Well, if you are not, then the more reason why we should start talking to each other.

A lot happened in the past 6 months, I’m moving soon, did I tell you? My new house is getting renovated and gonna move in once it’s done. Oh, and I’m going to have my own puppy, I miss the puppy that I gave it to you too much, gonna get myself a real one. I assume that you are taking great care of her, at least put her in your warm drawer.

I once thought u are merely part of me, but now, I realise you are the one that will shape my life when I’m in need. The faith is, if you can’t be part of me now, please stand beside me, will you?

Yours faithful,

Big Panda

May 31, 2010

Greentea 19 January 2010

Image via Wikipedia

Ok. Finally with some time to sit down and write something. Have been very busy lately in the past 2 weeks, as i mentioned before (do i?) i have been given a chance to take up another assignment at another unit at my organization. Work started well, with some hiccup here and there. But i do have to  admit, the handover process is least desirable and i have to learn alot of stuff myself, last but not least, many thank you to my new colleagues, new boss, who keen to help and patient with my many questions. (I am very very curious about stuffs).

Just finish work and reach home. Decided to skip dinner today, have an green apple prior to taking bath, hopefully i am able to resist those temptation of heavy food indulgence… zzz there’s a pizza in my fridge…

Today is world of warcraft maintenance day, had revived my wow account last Sunday, more than a week now, been very focus on gathering all the gears atm, i will talk about wow probably in the next post… haha

WARNING! The followings paragraph contain what u may seen as offensive, read with due care. Been waiting for FAKKU! to get online for the past few days, in case u do not know about FAKKU! yet, provided you’re interested in Hentai (Japan porno comic) you should give a try, it consists of many hentai comic with English translation.  In this very day, FAKKU!’s back!….

Plenty of Arsenal and a few Leeds united news in the past one week, and i will lump them all.. hmm maybe in another post…. From Sol Campbell, Fran Merida, Jermaine Beckford and Adebayor!!!

Still deciding on when and how long more should i wait until i finally buy my new car, financially speaking, the later i decided to spent the money, the more economy make sense….

Gaining wait, maintaining at 82kgs at the moment, need to bring it down. There’s a lose wait competition i the organization i work in past of the health campaign, winner will get a hefty sum of RM500, 6 months period….

Love life wise, i am still struggling, the girl in my mind, just broke up with his 7 years boyfriend, now, she seems to want to take her own sweet time in deciding her next move, with her boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) still lingering her around, with another of her childhood friend (waited her  for 5 years) and me (knew her for 6 months) in the picture… Only time will tell…

Feelin a bit Poetic – 你那娇小的身驱。。。你那可爱的微笑。。。

女：

我那娇小的身驱，让我觉得你是多么的伟大， 我那可爱的笑容，让我觉得你是多么的可怕；爱很複杂，却总让人甜蜜，爱很伤心，却总让人想起。

短暂的一起，让人回味爱情的甜蜜，长时间想你，让人忘记爱情的端癖。期望着未来，重新安排生活的点滴，收拾了过去，重新接受爱情的洗礼。

我问你爱我有多深，你爱我有几分，你说你爱我如微微细雨，笼罩着蓝天白云。我问你何以等下去，你等我至何时，你说你爱得拔不去，但愿永不分离。

男：

你那娇小的身驱，让我觉得我是多么的伟大；你那可爱的微笑，让我觉得我是多么的可怕。爱很简单，却总让人心烦，爱很甜蜜，却总让人难堪。

你问我天空有多蓝，我问你爱情有多深，我说天空一片海，你说爱情一片云。千言万语不知从何说起，微微细雨不让忘记过去，痴痴等待不让过去婉惜，寄望未来希望你能珍惜。

长时间一起，让人忘记爱情的真理，短时间分离，让人陷入爱情的麻痹。忘记了过去，重新投入爱情的游戏，收拾了心情，重新聆听爱情的旋律。

Greentea 03 January 2010

Image via Wikipedia

Just home after attending my friend’s wedding dinner. It has been a busy day, helping my “brother” on his wedding., wish him million happiness. Well the wedding has been close to perfect, the dinner, the ceremony are all top notch and well prepared.

Tomorrow gonna mark my first working day in 2010. As i mentioned earlier, tomorrow will also be the day i started my job at a different unit. Thought of going to sleep early today, but there’s an Arsenal game live on TV and i’m not going to miss that.

Feel lonely with most my friends being couple at the wedding. Need to work harder this year to get myself someone to hang on to. Really feel it’s time to settle down, it may sounds a little bit desperate but its only normal for me to feel this way after 27 years of life.

Now sitting in front of the laptop waiting for the Arsenal vs West Ham game, home by cab just now, seriously, i gonna buy my car this 2 months. It is just way too inconvenience for me to travel around. And it felt so awkward for relying people to keep giving you a ride.

I need lady to ride me, instead of the other way round… 🙂

Greentea 01 January 2010

Image via Wikipedia

Happy new year to everyone. Just woke up after some hectic new year celebration yesterday night. A Barbecue out the out skirt, a tea session with my world of warcraft mate, a brand new day, follow with the new prospect of a brand new year.

A few notable changes by this year, one, i forsee to move into our new family house soon this years, two, i will start my new job at another unit, a new challenge for the new year, three, i anticipate a new car this year, because my soon to be new house is too inconvenience and there’s a need to get a car finally after seven years of determination of not to do so.

I  feel optimistic and trying my best to get a girlfriend this year. I’ve given all the hints and hopefully she can come out from her own misery (breakup with seven years relationship) and finally decided to settle down into another relationship, and hopefully, i’m the one she decided to spent time with.

This new year, i will enjoy myself into better and organize reading, from fiction, to non fiction, i hope to increase my reading, and finish the books on my shelf.

This new year, i will enjoy myself into better physique, need to cut down on fat and get back to acceptable weight.Currently 83kg, my aim, 75kg. Need more exercise and better food selection, need more sleep with better lifestyle.

This new year, i will enjoy myself to continue blogging and improve my writing and presentation skills. Hopefully, i cant improve my blog as much as i want to improve myself.

This new year, i will enjoy myself, want to change my lifestyle a bit, need to be a little bit more adventurous and out going.

This new year, i will enjoy myself, want to open myself to new stuff and new knowledge’s, while refreshing old knowledge.

This new year, i will enjoy myself with less complaint (qq) more action, less negative, more positive aspect in my life.

This new year, i will enjoy myself with less guessing, less speculation and more clarification, and better prospect at way of life.

Happy new year to every one.

Greentea 28 December 2009

Image via Wikipedia

Just home after watching Arsenal trash Aston Villa 3-0, superb game from arsenal. Fabregas particularly splendid and influential with his performance.

It’s not easy to maintain a friendly relationship. Especially when it goes roller coaster from normal friends to love bird and back to normal friends. It all started slowly, but everything change when she broke up with her seven years relationship. That’s where she ask to backtrack the relationship with me. Taking a break from love life?

Patient is the key to success? I’ll wait? Remain friends at the moment? Do i really have the choice? Why girl can swing their mood, emotion, and affection so fast and furious.

i wish i can fast forward the time, do not ask me why, i just wish i could.